Social Media Fast

I took a break from social media for a week in October. I've fasted from social media before. I think the longest I fasted was 30 days. Like with most of my attempts to practice discipline and self control, I failed. I made it the 30 days. I didn't get on social media, but the intention to fast didn't follow through.

So after seven days, no heart or habit change, I considered how long would it take for me to detox from social media--Instagram, mostly.

Six months.

That's the number that came into my head. I don't know if it was God, but I did know six months seemed daunting. I didn't want to fail. I was exhausted from being a slave to something that wasn't created to own me. I told my self  "until the end of Rooted". Rooted is s discipleship class I facilitated this Fall. 

At the end of Rooted I told myself I would fast through the end of the year. March would be six months. In November, March seemed too far away. I wasn't steady enough to believe I'd make it. It's December, and I've spent random times on social media, and every time it feels bothersome. It feels like a task. I am tempted when I am bored, procrastinating or anxious. I want to mindlessly scroll to distract me from real life. I miss sharing my life especially as I've watched my two best friends get married, and I experience adventures across my life.

I like social media.

I don't like who I become when I am using social media.

I don't like being lazy and numb.

I don't like comparing.

I don't like feeling out of control.

I don't like competing.

I don't like being influenced to perform better.

I really don't like how I feel using Instagram. I don't. It doesn't feel good at all. I immediately feel anxious and a craving swells in me to find the perfect thing that is going to make me feel alive.

The purpose of fasting is to create space to love well and do better.

I want to read the Bible every day again. I want quiet time. I want intentional time. I want focus. I want motivation. I want energy. Although I may be familiar with cutting things out, I am not doing anything of what I just listed. That's how I know social media isn't the problem. The lack of discipline and self control is where I need to grow.