I'm Addicted to Distraction

I decided to stop using social media indefinitely.

I sat down on my couch, and I was watching TV. I kept reaching for my phone to open Instagram. I don't use Instagram anymore as of ten days ago so why did I keep reaching for my phone?

I think it's because I'm addicted to it.

I was sitting there, and I realized I couldn't remember the last time I watched TV or a movie without looking at my phone or scrolling through Instagram.

I felt sad about it, and I pitied myself.

My phone is always with me, and most of the time not because it has to be.

I crave a lifestyle that is freed from this.

I crave a lifestyle that is quieter, calmer and more present.

I want slow. I want my brain to enjoy things like running and living in the present even if it's boring.

I want to sit in a movie and appreciate the climaxes and the boring parts.

I want to sit in a restaurant and not be distracted by what photo I take for the sake of social media content.

I recently read a blog by Hannah Brencher, and she said "My life isn't content for you to consume."

I'll be honest. I tried monetizing my life, but I think for the most part that type of success for people happens organically. I showed up on Instagram because I wanted to be popular enough to make money so I could quit my job because I incredibly dislike my job.

I have felt the nudge to give up social media for almost a year. I tried to satisfy that conviction by fasting, unfollowing about 75 % of people I didn't know in real life.

I was scared to let it go because Instagram was the only connection I've had with people I once had real life relationships. I'm sad that people who claim friendship with me won't get to see the highlights of my life because I'm off social media.

I expect this fight to be a tough one and a rewarding one. I want to be able to read a book without Netflix in my ear. I want to drive in my car without a podcast.

I just know it in my gut that this isn't God's best for me.

I'm going to go find it.