Why Did God Let This Happen?

A friend asked me this question regarding our respective break ups. We acknowledge the good lessons we’ve learned. We see how God uses it for good, but when she asked me why God let “all of it” happen this came out: 

“He loves me. He lets me. 

He lets me try, and he knows I’m going to get hurt so instead of controlling me he just doesn’t waste my pain.” 

There is a song by Cory Asbury, “Reckless Love”. We all know it and we all love it. Here is why I love it. He starts off my talking about how good God is, but then he says how God has been “kind” to him. 

“You have been so, so kind to me.”

That lyric wrecks me. I remember that truth often. God is kind to me. 

He is kind to teach me. 

He is kind to discipline me. 

He is kind to lead me. 

And he is kind to let me. 

He’s the best father. 

He teaches me a lot about this one thing. I ask him questions. I try to figure it out, and he’s there by my side. Letting me try and letting me fail. 

He has every right and all the power to control me into doing what is his best. But he doesn’t. That is kind. Even as I am left so sad, I am also left very aware of the consequences of all my choices, very aware that God doesn’t waste my pain. Very safe to try and fail because he is holding me in his righteous right hand. He won’t let go. Even as I stray, even as I fight, even as I rebel, he is kind to stay so I trust that he is kind to use the ugly, bad and evil for good.

He watched me as I put him second as I remained his priority.

He knew I would stay there for 3 months.

He knew I’d be in agony.

So when I let go and came back to the one who never stopped pursuing me, I was met with love, gentleness and peace. And now we’re at the point where he is showing me how to do it better. “Like this, daughter. You can choose me like this.”

Maybe you’re trying to find a divine reason for your pain, and maybe you won’t ever get one. But cling onto God’s kindness. You are not a disappointment to him. You are perfect to him as imperfect as you may act. God is not interested in our sacrifices, but desires mercy. Thank God for mercy.