What's the Point?

I’m here to talk to you about something that I have felt really misunderstood about until I heard a podcast where the hosts validated my perspective. I learned a lot about relational patterns and probabilities while studying marriage and family therapy. I noticed patterns in my own life and in the lives of others.

Here’s the thing: It is proven to be much harder to end an engagement than to end a dating relationship.

The hosts of the podcast talked about how it is arguably harder because our culture has taken engagement to equal the same kind of commitment as marriage, which it is not. And I will add, we have created a culture where “clicking” with someone means you marry them. So we stop evaluating, and if we do evaluate we aren’t even doing that wisely.

So there’s that. Here is another thing that came to mind as I considered this more: We are not putting God in his place. God is not the point of our romantic decisions. He seems to be a part of it. Like we don’t forget him, we know his character, and we know what he wants. However, I am not confident that he is our reason for doing anything.

I don’t think we realize the WHY behind making godly decisions. We try our best to do what is right, but is God the point or is wanting a blessing the point? We make sure to say “yes” or “no” because we don’t want to make a mistake that could ruin the rest of our lives. But is God the point? Or is fear driving my evaluation? Do I want to love God or get what I want? I would even challenge you to consider if you believe loving God gets you what you want. Is obeying God the trade off to get your happily ever after?

We must seek God and make him the point of every single thing. We don’t move through the romantic stages so we can get what we want. We do not say “yes” or “no” to reap blessing, avoid failure or hardship. We can endure those things. We can endure hardship because the power of God in us gives us the strength we need.

We must seek God and choose wisely because of who he is. God is holy. God is all knowing. God is creator. He is mighty and full. He is soft and tender. He is loving. He is the why of anything and everything. So we date for God. We commit for God. We marry for God. And all of the rest of it, all the consequences are fruit of that godly choice.

It’s not about you even when you’re right in the middle of it. God is the point. Making it less about you allows God to love you in a way that is all about you. He wants to give you the desires of your heart. He really, really does. He loves you, but truly, what is the point of the desire in your heart?